i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have started to decorate penises.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize