Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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