is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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