The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize