East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
you never un-have a 4some
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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