jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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