someone get that fucking seahorse.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize