Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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