C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize