do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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