I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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