The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize