i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
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He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
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Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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