I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize