it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize