He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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