I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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