screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize