is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize