Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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