Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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