never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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