It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize