I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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