Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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