The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize