Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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