Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
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