she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize