He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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