Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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