THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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