I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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