I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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