i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize