your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
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He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
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No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize