One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
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he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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