Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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