You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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