yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize