Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
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I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
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He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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