I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
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Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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