it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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