Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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