Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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