The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize