i think my tv is drunk
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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