I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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