you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
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You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
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But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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