If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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